Don't Help, Just Love

     About two years ago I was going through a really rough part of my life when I really just felt alone. I had my faith, and I knew God loved me, but I really just needed a good friend. I wanted to be a good friend. It was at this time that I came to the realization that, without love, we have nothing. We can do nothing. We are nothing. Without the love of others--more importantly, without giving our love to others--our lives are meaningless. At that time, I determined that I would make love my only priority in life. Since then, my life has changed in ways I couldn't have even imagined, and I am so grateful for the Lord's hand in my life as He has helped me to feel the love of my friends and as He has opened my heart to love others with a depth that was impossible two years ago.
     Two years ago, it seemed impossibly hard to help others. But as I have come to love the people around me, I have been able to be a life raft in an empty ocean of pain, doubt, and darkness. The decision to love above all else has made all the difference.

Lamentations

As a choir junkie, I am in love with choral music, and this just happens to be one of my favorite songs that my choir performed in high school.  Because I try to sing with all the emotion a song calls for, every time we performed this song I almost cried because of the anger, turmoil, and wailing.  Hopefully you enjoy this beautiful song as much as I did.

The Black Dog

 

For the Forsaken

If there is one thing I have learned from my friends with depression, it is that loneliness kills.  Pretty much everyone feels lonely at some point of their life.  But depression makes you feel lonely every second of every day.  It makes you dread being alone for the rest of your life, with no one to understand your plight.  As a note to those who don't suffer from depression but are reading this, please, help others feel a little less abandoned.  All it takes is a smile, a hug, a few words of reassurance, and letting someone know you are there for them no matter what.  Because I did all of these little things, I have been called an angel... That is both a sweet and an absolutely heart-wrenching feeling.  It only takes a few seconds: so be an angel.


If you suffer from depression, know that you are not alone. One day my friend found these scriptures, and they really resonated with him:

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?  --Psalms 22:1

And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? Which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? --Mark 15:34

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? That is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? --Matthew 27:46

Christ felt alone, completely forsaken and abandoned during His divine sacrifice.  Abraham Lincoln struggled with depression throughout his life, as well as Hans Christian Anderson, Johnny Depp, Sir Isaac Newton, and Ernest Hemingway.  If you feel alone in your troubles, know that you are not ever alone.  If you feel abandoned by your God, don't worry : He is there for you.  I know you may not always feel it, but the people around you love you very much.  Sometimes the miracles we pray and hope for are a little ray of sunshine or a flower poking through the sidewalk.  Sometimes they are embodied in the people around us. 

Perfect Love is Not Ashamed

“Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief.” – Cheiko N. Okazaki

Some Good, Some Hard

Dear Reader,

Do you know someone who takes life a little too seriously?  Do you find yourself repeatedly telling that person to just lighten up a little?  If you do, please read this website:

Highly Sensitive People

Having had many sensitive friends in the past, I have learned that -- though they can be a challenge to interact with -- they are some of the best, fiercest friends.  Highly sensitive people care very deeply about friends, family, and even strangers.  If you are in a tough spot in life, they don't hesitate even a moment to come help you out.  They brighten your day before you even realized you were having a rough one (but maybe that's just because I'm not always aware of my own emotions :P ).  When they laugh, they light up the room with the light of their smile, and they have an uncanny ability to make people feel loved.

As it says in the article, highly sensitive people are prone to depression and anxiety, most especially if they've had troubling experiences in the past.  Yes, this can be tiring, because that means intense lows come with all of their intense highs.  They don't take criticism very well, and a few "jokes" can easily cut them down to nothing.  There are times when they just deeply, deeply need to be held.  They need reinforcement like fish need water.  Because of this, not everyone has the patience to care for and really get to know highly sensitive people; after all, they can put up some pretty high walls to protect themselves.

These are challenges that sensitive people and their loved ones face every day.  But that doesn't mean being a sensitive person is a bad thing.  In fact, I would say the opposite.  Being friends with highly sensitive people throughout my life has given me two things: a deep understanding that I am loved, and a better capacity to love.  Please, be a little patient.  A sensitive person needs gentleness like an independent person needs freedom.  In my experience, if you put a little more effort into your relationship with that person, and you may be the one to shine a little light into their depression.  At the same time, you will gain a friendship that will last a lifetime.  Give up a little crudeness for the sensitive person in your life, and they will help you develop a love that makes you want to cry and laugh at the same time; something so wonderful that you can hardly stand it.  Caring for them and letting them care for you will make you better and stronger in every way.

Okay, now I sound like a total preacher :P But I want to invite you to share a little kindness.  It doesn't have to be anything huge: I'm a big believer in the power of little things.  As always, feel free to share stories and ideas in the comments.

A Little Rain

I fall.
Fall.
Fall.

Lost.
Alone.
Broken in the wind.

I see them dance, joining with one another.
I see them sparkle, enlivened by the light.
I see them descend, welcomed by the earth.

But I am alone.
But I am in the dark.
But I am cast off.

Still falling.
Falling,
Falling.

The others look and see that I am impatient.
The others look and see that I am weak.
The others look and see that I am unwanted.

Let me be encompassed in love.
Let me be consumed by pain.
Let me be cast into oblivion.

Why did the cloud cast me out to fall?
Why am only I alone?
Why is the fall so far?

Still falling,
falling,
falling,

I am eager: I feel the mists call my name.
I am uncertain: I hear the sea reject me.
I am terrified: I hear the breakers roar.

And then I am welcomed by warm embraces.
And then I am encircled by the empowering waves.
And then I am enveloped by the peaceful quiet.

Suddenly, I am home, too far from pain to remember the falling.

Build Me a Window

Build me a window, I'll open a door.  Don't fear the darkness, I've brought a candle.  Please, just welcome the warmth.  Perhaps one day you will have a fire to burn in your home: to shed a little light and give a little heat.  Until then, build me a window.  Then I can see the nightmare in your soul.